Those opposed to #anyopposed

I don't know much about the group Any Opposed. In fact I had never heard of them until today and just opened their website up about 1 minute ago to make sure I had their name correct. I also wasn't even listening to conference at the time of the vocal opposition to the sustaining of the First Presidency and Quorum of the 12 Apostles. I was teaching munchkins to dance. So I was busy. BUT, after having seen what happened on Twitter and reading some articles, I found myself extremely disheartened.

And it's probably not what you expect.

Shortly after conference I went to Facebook, hoping to see other quotes and thoughts people had on conference from the session I missed. And what I saw were so many who were adamant about their support for the Prophet (fine), right alongside their anger and annoyance with the opposers (not fine). People who said "they should have given their tickets to someone else!" Or calling what they did "antics". Or asking why they are even in a church they are opposed to.

Let me tell you something.

I've been the one opposed. I've been the person who is in severe disagreement with the Church. I've been the one who feels like her voice will never be heard, her concerns never listened to, and her questions never answered. And you want to know why? It's because of you.

It's because it's socially acceptable to call out those who oppose and shame them. If those who have questions, doubts, and concerns aren't listened to, do you think those questions, doubts and concerns will just leave? They just magically disappear?

I have posted a couple of posts about my Mormon feminism. Here, here, and here. And what started as honest questions, doubts, concerns, and misunderstandings became deep, dark, cynical, angry thoughts. Now of course, I recognize my role in that. I will never pretend that I didn't choose to go that way. But let me tell you, I wonder what difference it would have made if I'd felt more comfortable to actually ask these questions in Sunday School or Relief Society. I wonder what could have happened if I wasn't hearing through social media that I should just leave the Church or I didn't truly understand the temple ceremony or I was a prideful sinner? All these from people who didn't know me, didn't know my life experience and why I had arrived at these ideas and concerns and questions.

What if when people mentioned doubts to you as a friend, or when you heard a dissenting voice in Sunday School, you honestly listened? What if you set aside your "preach" mentality and let them just open up and have their concerns? What if you trusted them that they really feel this way and it isn't because they're a sinner or they just don't understand, etc.? What if you were kind on social media and didn't use your tweets and instagrams and sweet little graphics to shame and guilt?

Listen to them.

Trust them.

Our Church should be one where all can feel welcome. Even for those with doubts, questions, concerns, and dissenting opinions. Especially for those with doubts, questions, concerns, and dissenting opinions. You'd be surprised how many people do. I only recently learned of a handful of friends I have who have had deep concerns and questions about the Church that has caused them to severely question the Church. Some have left, some haven't. But the secrecy of those questions and concerns makes me sad. While not all things need to be shared, if we are to be Zion, if we are to be of one heart and one mind, we should probably make more of an effort. Being of one heart and one mind doesn't mean "those people better conform to my views because I'm right". One heart and one mind means we all grow together. It means we have an eye "single to the glory of God". And do you remember what God is? God is love.

Unconditional love. True support. Unending patience. Eternal mercy.

If God wasn't those things, I wouldn't be where I am today. And neither would you. Please remember that next time you hear someone say something you disagree with.

*Please recognize that I'm not necessarily trying to chastise you, I just want you to be aware. This only sounds angry because I feel so very strongly about it.