A defense of my Mormon feminism.

I've been writing this blog post in my mind for a few weeks now. Much like during the great pants debate, there have been lots of blogs and articles shared on Facebook for the last few weeks. Also much like the great pants debate, it has caused me to feel frustrated by what seem to be generalized statements thrust upon the motivations of those darned "feminists".

Because let's be clear, when you speak of "feminists" you are talking about me. A temple-recommend holder, temple garment wearer, three-hour block attender who reads her scriptures daily and prays fervently to find answers to her questions. You are also talking about other women who fit this description as well. You are also speaking of women who may not fit this description in one way or another. Basically, you are talking about a variety of people, and generalizations just ain't gonna work.

So here are some assumptions that have been directed at me through this transitive property of feminism. (That is likely the first and last mathematical principle ever to be found on this blog.)

• I clearly don't understand the Gospel
• I am unrighteous and being led astray by Satan as shown by my lack of testimony 
• The agitation I am creating in the Church is too political and not following the guidance of the Prophets and Apostles
• I think men and women should be the same
• I am not proud of being a woman or am somehow ashamed of womanhood 
• I am prideful and think women are better than men

I will now go on to talk about how these assumptions have made me feel personally. I want it clear that I am discussing my personal understandings, reactions, and feelings about these assumptions. I cannot speak for the whole of feminists any more than you can speak for the whole of your city, country, gender, etc. This point is important to remember when discussing anything. Seriously. Don't forget it. 

• I clearly don't understand the Gospel
• While I am not going to claim by any means to be in complete understanding of the Gospel, neither, I would argue, are you. We are all searching for answers to our questions. It just so happens that my questions might make you uncomfortable. But the truth is, the lack of adequate answers to my questions is making me uncomfortable. Which is why I still have those questions! I find it extremely important that we don't equate questions people have with a simple lack of Gospel understanding on their part. Just because you don't have questions about women and the Priesthood, doesn't mean others shouldn't. Allow them to have questions. You have questions about other things. Why is this any different?

• I am unrighteous and being led astray by Satan as shown by my lack of testimony 
• I will admit that I only saw once the inference that a woman who was talking about women and the Priesthood was being led astray by Satan. And I realize that this is definitely not a mainstream argument. That being said, I have felt the insinuation of unrighteousness couched in many comments. It is never, never, never appropriate to question someone's righteousness unless you have direct stewardship over them. It turns out, that isn't your job. 

• The agitation I am creating in the Church is too political and not following the guidance of the Prophets and Apostles
• One reason I find this to be problematic is a specific argument I simply can't leave unattended from the highly Facebook popular blog post "The Mormon Feminist Protest: And Why I Won't Be There". The author mentions that God's opinion doesn't change just because the world's opinion does. While this is completely true in some ways, I would argue that it is untrue in other ways. The world's way isn't God's way, and I find that to be very true. However there are many ways in which God has directed His church in such a way that it is palatable to the surrounding culture, allowing the Church to be accepted, spread, and enjoyed by more people. The Church changes culturally as the world changes culturally. While there are things that will never change (our beliefs in morality, our assertion of a Savior, etc.) there are many things that have changed, are changing, and will change. Isn't it possible that this is one of them?
• Finally, historically, the way change happens in the Church is by questions asked. This is a pattern of revelation shown to us in the scriptures. Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you. In an organization as large as the Church currently is (which is wonderful and problematic all at the same time), asking questions such as this will either need to be asked exactly to the right people (which people are not necessarily accessible to the public for meetings) or asking questions a bit loudly. \
• Oh also let me just introduce you to this quote by the late Gordon B. Hinckley. (for the full interview go here)
• David Ransom: At present women are not allowed to be priests in your Church...Is it possible that the rules could change in the future..?
  Gordon B. Hinckley: He could change them yes...But there's no agitation for that. We don't find it.
  
  
• I think men and women should be the same
• I don't think men and women are the same, I don't think they should be the same, and I never think they will be the same. I think gender is eternal, specific, different and sacred. Though I will admit that I don't quite know what the differences between gender are eternally (this is another question of mine that will likely be a lifelong quest), I know that there are differences and that they are important. 

• I am not proud of being a woman or am somehow ashamed of womanhood 
• I very much like my gender though I may not subscribe to the cultural gender norms many in the Church accept. I know that womanhood is important and divine. One thing I heard from one of my favorite humans Valerie Hudson Cassler about womanhood reminded me that we don't know what the feminine divine is. We have a clear idea of what men are and should be since the scriptures are largely, as she said, "Priesthood manuals", written by men and for men. Just because I don't yet fully understand what womanhood means doesn't mean I don't accept it. 
• This is linked to another difficulty I have had in that I, personally, struggle with a desire for children and I always have. Sometimes I want to have that desire, sometimes I want to want to have that desire, and very rarely and only in small snippets have I had that desire. May I suggest that the desire to have children can be a great gift, and those who do not immediately possess it are not unrighteous or ashamed of their womanhood, they are simply not given that gift by default? Perhaps it is a gift they must work for, I know it is something I am doing. So please, please, don't judge a woman as unrighteous even if she doesn't have that desire. Like having questions, I'm sure there are righteous things you do not have a  desire to do, why must this be different?
• I apologize this was a small tangent. It doesn't necessarily fit right into the topic at hand it is just something I've been struggling with for some time and wanted to write about it. Because that's how I do. 

• I am prideful and think women are better than men
• NO. In fact, I find that most of the arguments behind my feminism actually elevate the status of men. Many of my beliefs as a feminist stem from a place where both men and women lose something by the way things culturally are currently. The way we teach about sexuality hurts both men and women but is often considered something on the "feminist" agenda. The pedestal women are put on hurts both men and women in its implications. And a more specific understanding of women's role in the Priesthood (whether that is ordination or something else) will be of great help to both women and men. 
• I, for one, am often annoyed that I am not chastised as often as the men of the Church and worry that they aren't praised as much as they should be because of the cultural norms to which we often ascribe. So there is no way my feminism declares me to be better than men. 
• Another clear problem with this argument is the fact that I have encountered multiple men who call themselves feminists and who even are in the group who are "agitating" for female ordination. In fact, the first person I ever talked to and knew in real life that suggested their belief in female ordination was a man. A man that I was on a date with no less (it was clearly a good date). And to be quite honest I was a little uncomfortable with his assertions at the time. 
• I won't pretend I'm not prideful. And I won't pretend that perhaps my initial gravitation toward feminism in jr. high and high school stemmed from that pride. (Come on though, pretend your pride levels weren't through the roof at that age, I dare you.) But as I now contemplate my feminism, I do so in much prayer, asking near constantly for humility so that pride doesn't mar my way. And after all that asking, I'm still here. 

Let me conclude by saying, if you don't agree with me, that's fine, absolutely and completely. But I would prefer you talk to me about in a manner that doesn't presuppose something about me because of my ideas. I will be attempting in my very human way to do the same for you.  

If you are looking for more information on this, here's a wonderful article against female ordination from my favorite human. "The Two Trees". Also, from what I have seen of the blog "A Well-Behaved Mormon Woman", she doesn't seem to unfairly represent feminists. 

As for pro-articles, I would especially link you to the Ordain Women FAQ, and the All Are Alike Unto God FAQ. 

In the undecided category I would refer you to posts by Ask Mormon Girl on the Priesthood as well as this interesting debate/blog post on the motherhood/Priesthood parallel. 

Feminism. Not politics.

It's high time I wrote this post.

Here's the deal. I'm a feminist. Now, you may know that I tend to keep my political opinions and ideas to myself because I am old-fashioned like that. But here is the thing. In my mind, feminism isn't about politics. Feminism is about opportunities, understanding one another, and actually listening to one another without expectations or preconceived notions (which I know is very difficult). Now, yes, these ideas are coming right around the time of the great pants debate, but it has been a long time in the making. However, since it has come at such a timely...time, there are a plethora of articles I can simply provide you. Because lots of people are saying lots of things that are exponentially more intelligent and studied than what I could say.  SO without further ado.

This is one of my old professors (Valerie Hudson, who I love) who said she thinks everyone is a little bit feminist (especially those of the LDS faith), because it's just about believing that women are capable beings who should be considered with equal weight to men. (Consequently she has done a lot of research on gender in international security and economy, and has written a couple of books on women that I am dying to read, Women in Eternity, Women in Zion, and Sex and World Peace. She is also one of the only people who has been able to say something comforting about polygamy) 

I am a Mormon Because I am a Feminist



This article I found on Facebook and must say I am super grateful for it. Seeing some of the bile focused against feminism in my Facebook feed in the last few days has been kind of difficult for me. Because it feels like I am being personally attacked even though the people posting the bile haven't actually taken the time to listen to my viewpoints at all. Which, to be honest, I think my viewpoints are fairly moderate. Thought obvs I am biased. But there are different kinds of feminists, and just like "liberals", "conservatives", "Americans", and so on, there are differences. No one likes being stereotyped and told what they think.

Do Some Women Hate Feminism?



This last link may not seem to do with feminism at first, but it discusses something that I think has a lot to do with female empowerment and understanding. And it ends with some interesting ideas that give common sense ideas for different female participation in ward leadership which I think could be very useful for everyone involved. As the title says, it is about chastity, so if you're uncomfortable talking or reading about sexual intimacy, probably not the article for you right now.

13 Articles of Healthy Chastity




In my life and in my personal experience, being feminist is about seeing the difference between cultural norms and doctrinal truths. It's about really listening to each other, and about really listening to yourself and living that way instead of living only in accordance with what is done just because that's the way it is.  And of course, listening to God, always. It's about learning to respect the decisions and opinions of women even though they may seem "shocking".

If you have any other articles, on either side of the argument (though to be honest I have a difficult time getting through anything that doesn't have a moderate feel to it) I would love to read it!

Soft Sunday Sounds: Subjects of Gratitude

In my Relief Society lesson today we were urged to step outside of our comfort zone in order to grow. I got thinking to the times in my life when I did this in hopes that I can begin to replicate it in my current life. Because for some reason when you move back home, your comfort zone becomes much the same as it was when you last lived here, ie. high school. Thinking about this brought me back to my journey through folk dance.

When I started folk dance, I was so nervous to go to club nights that I got nearly physically ill and emotional in the crowded room of people dancing that I did not know. I've always had a difficult time with large crowds and the prospect of them was terrifying. As I progressed in the program I knew more and more people, so the large group seemed smaller and more friendly. But there came a point in my progression in the program where I decided to look for those dancers who looked like I was before I became comfortable at club nights.

In addition to this, I was a TA for lots of folk dance classes at BYU. In fact, the last couple of years in my time at BYU it seems that I had been the TA for the majority of people in the folk dance program at least once. In this role I did not just attend class and demonstrate at the front of the classroom. Being a future teacher and someone who is passionate about dance, I gave one-on-one help (inside and outside of class), I gave encouragement and pep talks, and I tried my best to remember names, even after I wasn't their TA anymore.

In all of these situations, I came to grow as a person. I came to love people more and work harder and be better than I thought I could be. Those who I helped had personal triumphs in which I shared their joy, and I thought, this is my payment for helping them.

And it was more than enough. But it wasn't all.

Last week I visited Provo for some time with some of my dearest friends and I decided to drop in on a folk dance workshop. I walked in and saw so many people I had worked with and felt joy at their progression in the program. But that wasn't all. I was then assaulted with hugs the entirety of my stay at the workshop. So many people I had helped came over and showed that they cared about what was happening in my life, that they were happy I was there, and that they loved me. I was overwhelmed, not realizing how long-lasting the fruits of service could be. And little did they know that the tables were now turned and they were serving me. They were reminding me that there are many people who love me, who care about me, who think I'm a great person.

So it seems to me, that I need to be grateful to be a subject of gratitude. Service, as it turns out, is like karma. It all comes back to you.

Soft Sunday Sounds: Boundlessly curious

This post is inspired by a quote from one of my favorite professors at BYU.

Because I'm boundlessly curious and must know everything.

This is a pretty good description of me. And because I love learning so much, I also love to learn about learning. It's just this great cycle of love and learning. And since so many people are going back to school and I'm not, and I just attended a fireside which sparked some thoughts on learning, I felt this was a good topic for today. 

As I listened to WSU President Ann Millner's words at the start of a fireside tonight at the Weber State Institute Building in Ogden, she said a phrase that sparked a sudden bringing together of ideas from across my brain. The phrase was "stewards of learning". Stewardship has always been something I've loved to learn about. My first interest in stewardship came as I learned about the law of consecration and stewardship in the early Mormon Church. I loved the idea that members of the Church gave all they had to the Church, but that they were then trusted with property (generally the very property they had just given to the Church) and given stewardship or responsibility over that property. This stewardship both showed the trust that the Lord had in them, as well as an action of them physically bettering and making use of this property. So to me, the idea of stewardship very much implies a notion of action and doing. 

So when said in conjunction with learning I was delighted! The little I know about the scientific processes of learning have told me that true learning occurs only when a new pathway is constructed in the brain. So true learning produces an actual change in your brain. Being a steward of your learning to me, then, means you are taking active responsibility for what you learn and how you use it. 

Now, keep in mind these thoughts formed in milliseconds and I saw a flowchart in my head that I had to write down. 

Endowment - power from on high - knowledge is power - lifelong service and learning - being a steward of your learning

You see, another thing I've thought about increasingly over the last year and a half has been the endowment those who enter the LDS temple for the first time receive. I began planning last year to receive my endowment after graduating as it looked like I wasn't going to be married by that time and I wasn't planning on serving a mission (the major reasons most people receive their endowment). This has been compounded by the fact that I have been studying the Doctrine and Covenants for the last year and a half and have read much about the restored traditions of the temple. For reasons unimportant to this blog I decided to wait for an impending marriage to receive my endowment, but it hasn't taken the yen to receive it and the desire to learn about it out of my mind. 

Additionally, this morning I heard a talk on KBYU where the speaker mentioned that the endowment gives the receiver power from on high, and it has been said that knowledge is power. So you are receiving knowledge, which is something that I have understood from my limited knowledge of the events inside the temple. And the idea that learning is so important that it is an integral part of the most sacred spots on earth just increases my desire for more of it. 

So basically I am boundlessly curious. And I probably shall be for all of eternity. 

Soft Sunday Sounds

I have decided to start doing a staple, weekly, Sunday post on Gospel topics. I decided to this for many reasons. But I'm not going to tell you any of them. So there.

This week during my church meetings I was reading in Luke 10, re-discovering a scripture chain I must have made at some point (seriously, I love re-discovering those things and figuring out what my train of thought was in creating it). I was reading the story of the lawyer who was asking the Lord who his neighbor was. This seems like an innocent question, but there is a key phrase in verse 29 that shows the true intentions of the lawyer.

29. But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

It's at this point that the lawyer starts reminding you of that weedy boy in 10th grade who liked to argue with everyone. And the reason for this is because he was "willing to justify himself". Wanting to justify yourself often means you want to explain yourself to make a bad deed you did seem not so bad, or even good. If this lawyer could justify himself in being unkind to someone because he wasn't his neighbor, then he could cock and bull reason his way out of all kinds of commandments. Real justification, however, is not something you can do to yourself, you can try, and you can be willing, but if you do, it shows that you don't understand the true meaning of justification. 

Justification is when something is made right, and something can't be made right without a perfect knowledge of it. You can't correct your own math homework, you have a teacher who does that because the teacher, in his or her knowledge of math, is above you. We can't justify ourselves because we don't have a perfect knowledge of things. We think we do. We wish we did. But if we really were the ones in charge of justifying ourselves, every day would be like an I Love Lucy episode. Cringing side effects and bad laugh tracks. But Ricky won't make everything better at the end of the episode, because you decided to take all responsibility.

Justification for our poor deeds can only be done by someone with a perfect knowledge. Justification for our mistakes can only be done by someone above us. Justification can only be done by (in, through, etc.) Christ. Ever. Through faith in Christ. Through hope in Christ. Through using and understanding his Atonement.

That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs 

according to the hope of eternal life. 

I for one am very glad it's not my job to justify my sins. 

Resources on justification:

http://mormonchannel.org/qa/25

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/06/justification-and-sanctification

http://www.cometozarahemla.org/saved/sanct-just-chart.html

http://www.mormonwiki.com/Justification

How beautiful are they?: The testimony

I would like to start this by saying I am not one of those BYU people who says that BYU is "the Lord's chosen school" and and every good Mormon should go there. Admittedly I tease about it sometimes, but it is only in jest. Really.

That being said, there are many opportunities and experiences I had here that I could have had at any university I attended. But there are also many experiences I have had that could have only happened at BYU. But that's not what this post is about.

This post is based on a scripture and a visiting teaching experience early in my time at BYU. The scripture was read to me by  my Relief Society president during a visiting teaching interview at the end of my first semester. The scripture she shared with me was Mosiah 18:30

"And now it came to pass that all this was done in Mormon, yea, by the waters of Mormon, in the forest of that was near the waters of Mormon; yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever."

There are a couple of things that strike me in this verse. The first is the amount of times they say "Mormon", it almost seems as though they are obsessed with it. But when something, someone, or some place has been incredibly influential in your life, has fundamentally changed the way you think and live in certain aspects, or perhaps all aspects, don't you feel the same way?When I hear other people talk about Dance Excellence, or BYU folk dance, or Freshman Academy/Mentoring, I can't get enough of talking about them, mentioning them, bringing them up in conversations. Because these experiences have fundamentally changed the way I thought about something, and changed some aspect of my life. Dance Excellence changed the way I thought about dance, folk dance changed the way I thought about other people and cultures, and Freshman Academy/Mentoring changed the way I thought about learning. 

But my experiences at BYU, they changed the way I thought about the Gospel, the Gospel which is fundamentally about my Redeemer and His sacrifice for me. The things I learned at BYU, sometimes because of my classes, ward experiences, roommates, friends, etc., and sometimes in spite of them, have made me consider everything differently. It was a subtle change, unnoticed while I was at BYU, but it becomes more noticeable as I have moved back home to the space I inhabited for the first 19 years of my life. I begin to revert to the person I was then. Now, don't get me wrong, I was not a bad person as a teenager. In fact I was a pretty good teenager (I think...). I was generally kind and hardworking, and I really did have a testimony of the Gospel, my own strong testimony. Perhaps because I already had that testimony it was even harder to see the change while at BYU. 

But change my testimony did. It strengthened exponentially. It created hallways, new rooms, new levels that I couldn't have even imagined as a 19 year old living in my parent's house. There's no telling exactly why this happened. Living on my own? Experiencing new wards? Religion classes? Friends? Leaders? Folk dance? Classes and teachers? BYU in and of itself? Surely it's all of those and more things I maybe can't even remember. 

So I can't say that I have a testimony of BYU, but I have a testimony that my experiences at BYU changed me. I have a surer testimony of my Savior, who died for the sins of the world out of pure love and obedience to our Father's will. I have a testimony of the concept of Zion, of its importance and its manifestations in doctrines of wards, stakes, and families. I have a clearer view of charity, of what it entails and of my capacity for it. I have a greater love of people, and a testimony of their divinity through our Savior. I know more assuredly of the modern history of this Church, of its difficulties, of its failings, and of how those things contribute instead of detract from its mission and its responsibility as the house of Truth. I have a more rigorous understanding of the scriptures, both ancient and latter day. And I know that I have miles to go and many more "blessed" places to encounter in my life. 

And so ends the BYU chapter of my life. The first half of my title has been fulfilled. Now comes "Beyond". 

Sunday grab-bag

Here is a jumble of thoughts, ideas, questions, and discoveries of this sick-ish girl on a lonely Sunday afternoon.

Thoughts

• I can't believe I just applied to three jobs on the East Coast! All in Virginia. 
• I feel really good about Virginia right now. Even though I haven't applied for any full-time teaching positions which is...you know...what I'm getting my degree in. It's cool though.
• I also feel terrified about moving across the country alone. Especially for a part-time job. 
• I can't flipping wait to perform in Ogden and stay at my house for a night with three of my favorite girls in the world. AH!

Ideas

• The world should know that bunions aren't gross. You thought they were filled with puss or something equally disgusting didn't you? They're not. And they're painful. And yes I have one.  
• I need a cheap as free haircut. With no layers. I'm super boring. 
• Student teaching should NOT require me to make up the two days I have to miss for folk dance. 

Questions

• Why didn't I know until today that lds.org has those old school seminary videos from the 90's in their media library? Perfect Sunday afternoon activity when you can't keep your eyes open long enough to do the Gospel study you want to do. 
• Why does lds.org STILL not have Legacy up as one of their feature films? I mean really.
• Why is it that when I rarely get sick (like less than once a year) for the last 5 years of my life, I suddenly get sick twice in the span of half of a semester?
• And why am I getting sick the week before I have the performance of my life in my hometown Ogden where my friends, family, and old dance people may be coming to see what I've been doing the past five years?
• Do I really want to teach high school and/or jr. high or do I just want to teach dance?

OR

Discoveries

• a.m. cold medicine affects me the same as p.m. medicine. Thus why I barely made it through Sacrament meeting today and stumbled home like a drunkard accompanied by my loving roommate. 
• Bodies can make mucus seriously quickly. And my body might be even better than others. Sorry that's kind of gross. But it's so grossly true. 
• I still like Ramen. COLLEGE. No parents. 
• The nice Kleenex with the lotion are totally worth it. 
• I might be allergic to dating. Just a theory. 

2 Secrets and a Truth.

1. I used to hate Valentines Day. Also pink.

The pink thing changed when my mom gave me a huge, puffy, pink, Jigglypuff looking winter coat. I decided to like it. As for Valentines Day, I attribute much of it to my beautiful sister Shiree. Her love for it was infectious and adorable and cool.

I did NOT approve of that coat. At first. 

2. There is a point on Valentines Day when I'm just as sad and lonely as everyone else gets/has been.

Yep. I'm human. But here's the thing. This happens at the end of the day, after I've done my normal day things but always, always before I hand out Valentines. I highly encourage buying those paper valentines that you hand out in 4th grade because you may be amazed at how delighted people are to get these silly things. I'm sure nostalgia plays a large role in it. The other factor may be that they were sitting in their apartment feeling just like I was pre-Valentine handing out. I don't think I need to point out the moral of this story.

These were my valentines last year. 

This year I procrastinated to much to get anything this cool. 

If you've never seen this show...um...watch it. 

Here's one of my fav episodes. ONE of the many. 

1. Truth:
God is love. Here's the deal, this will always be my message on Valentines Day. There may be many facets of love but in God all of them are contained. It is no coincidence that the Disciple who so clearly stated this is called John the Beloved.

Let's just face it, the Beatles got it right. All you need is love.

Love YOU.

So today I decided the most important thing for me to talk about would be loving yourself.  Because let's face it, that is one of the hardest things to do. 


A quote I found from a Young Women's lesson lds.org "We are children of God, and when we do not love ourselves, we are not respecting the things God has created." 

I have friends who have a hard time with this and I find myself getting almost angry about it. Not loving yourself means you're not fully loving God! He truly sent his Son to die out of love for you. And his son and your Savior died (and lived) because of his love for you. 


Also, he created you. Individually he made you and is the father of your spirit. How proud are you of things you have created? He has that much love and more for you! He is proud of what you are and sees your eternal worth and when you don't see it, just think how hard that is for Him to see. 


 Have you ever had a friend who you just adore. You know how wonderful they are and what they are capable of. But then they don't see it and they get discouraged. Isn't that just about the most frustrating thing ever? Magnify that a hundred fold. That's the frustration from an Eternal Father who sees your potential. And He knows exactly what your potential is because He gave it to you!


Now remember, self love doesn't mean you only consider yourself and not other people, or that you accept your faults as is and not work on them. The Lord chasteneth those whom he loves. We can and should still be self critical while at the same time keeping in mind our self worth. They must exist together though they seem opposite. Like justice and mercy. Sound familiar? 


You're wonderful. Now go do some soul (and scripture, and prayer) searching until you believe it. 

Love it.

Today I had this extremely interesting day. It was full of a great variety of things and experiences and I loved it.

Now, while I had a day that was fairly easy to love, it helped me remember another thing to love. LIFE. Recently we learned a new Mexican dance on my folk team (Jalisco! It's so cool!). The dance was hard and tiring and different than I expected. Rehearsals were frustrating at first, but then I decided to LOVE it.

By our last rehearsal with the choreographer, I legitimately loved the dance. Le.git. It was fantastic. All because I chose to.

So today I say to you. Love life. LOVE what life gives you.

Come what may, and love it.

Have you noticed that I love Elder Wirthlin? He is my favorite Apostle of all time, I miss hearing his sweet testimony in General Conferences.

This speaks for itself.

If.

This post is a little more of an admonition than a declaration. I will be using some scriptures in John that are a little out of order, but there is purpose to this.

John 15
Verse 10: If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
11: These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
12: This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
13: Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
14: Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
Chapter 14
Verse 15: If ye love me, keep my commandments.
21: He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

First of all, some of the things I've already blogged about came into this. I wanted to remind you (and myself) that all of this is connected. When love is speaking of Truth with a capital T, it's all connected.

I also included my highlighted moments of the scriptures, trying to translate to you how I read those scriptures, with italicized things being general highlighting, bold being circled words, and yellow meaning things that give me joy.

Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you; if ye keep my commandments ye shall abide in my love; if ye love me keep my commandments; He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he is is that loveth me.

How do you show your parents that you love them? You obey them. How do you show a teacher that you care about them and their subject? You do the homework, you listen in class, ie. you obey them. (Student teaching really does take over my entire brain most of the time.) So how do you show Christ that you love Him? You keep his commandments. Why does he give commandments?

Why do your parents give you rules? Because they love you and want you to be safe and happy. Why do teachers give you work and homework? Because they love you and want you to learn. Why does Christ give us commandments? Because He loves us and desperately wants us to be able to live with Him and Our Father again. So desperately.

But that isn't all, He doesn't just give us a long-off promise that we will gain eternal life, though that is the ultimate gift. In verse 21 of chapter 14 He says "...he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and I will manifest myself unto him." We receive the love of two perfect beings who see us outside of time, they see our potential and our abilities that we can't even comprehend. We also receive the promise that Christ will manifest Himself unto us. What glorious promises.

Ye are my friends. If.

And now behold, my joy is full.

So I know all the blogs thus far have been much  more on the serious side. I promise I'll get lighter, but this was the first blog post so far that was inspired without any prompting or studying on my part so I really wanted to go with it.

I woke up to a terrible, no good, very bad morning. Off I went to school at too early in the morning and thankfully I didn't have to teach the first period of the day. I "planned" at my computer but mostly just stared and tried to text people (hard to do when you wake up and are two hours into your day when most college students wake up) and ended up mostly ruining my hair and completely removing my makeup by the amount of running my hands over them that I did. (That sentence is seriously awkwardly worded but sorry, I don't think there is any way around it.)

I helped teach one period and interacting with the students helped, but since it wasn't "my" class (my co-teacher and I split up the classes) I mostly snuck away every once in a while to see if anyone had texted me back yet and took a looooong bathroom break to calm down. Seriously, it was that bad of a morning.

This bad mood continued and I was DREADING 8th period. My 8th period class is more chaotic then I would personally choose, but they can also just be so amazingly fantastic. So I was pretty worried about them on a Friday afternoon, but I knew I had to get through it. No other choice.

And guess what? It was amazing. Once I was teaching and interacting with those students and helping them I was so happy. And they were great and inquisitive and fun today and the class ended and I just looked at my co-teacher and said "That was great!" Bad mood gone.

What does this have to do with love you say? Un momento por favor.

One of my very favorite scriptures in all of the world is found in 3 Nephi 17. I mean, how can you ever go wrong with the Savior's visit to the Americas? But in this chapter, in verse 20, Christ says that His joy is full. The first time I read this as an understanding, thirsting for knowledge adult, I was so struck by that phrase. How could your joy be full? Brimming? Completamente? It sounded so wonderful. Since that time I have found that phrase other times in the scriptures and I always perk up when something gives me an indication as to how my joy could be full.

But in this particular scripture, Christ's joy is full because of those He was visiting. Because of His people. Seeing their faith gave him un-add-to-able joy. And their faith did this because He so thoroughly loved them.

Insert inquisitiveness and on-task-ness for faith and then you may understand why my joy was filled (perhaps not full, that's a pretty tall order) when I saw these students who I have come to love, show such promise. Full joy. Lots of love. Day 3 of love.

By this shall men know.

God has given us many commandments. And these commandments seem to stress us out. One of the commandments oft brought up in the light of stress is "Be ye therefore perfect...". Obviously this is a difficult commandment as we are all imperfect beings. I am going to move on from this point even though I know that the discussion of this verse is incomplete and could take ages to fully address. But for my purposes. this verse is an example of a seemingly impossible commandment.

I found another commandment today. Another seemingly impossible commandment. "A new commandment that I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved  you..."

When speaking of Christ's love for us it is an unthinkable, unimaginable thing. Even though I don't understand the depth of his love I am to surely glad it is so deep.

And it is by the showing of this love, love in parallel to the love of Christ, that we are seen as His disciples.

This post surely isn't to discourage you. But to me  it is a reminder that there is always more depth that my love can explore and reach and attain. Just because you love someone or show your love to them, it doesn't mean you have reached love that is as pure and as deep as we are commanded to have. Like all commandments this isn't a check off on your to-do list but a system of development. That must be why those who work hard in marriage say their love for their spouse grows the longer they are married. This love is the way we become like Christ.

Or. Is it that as we become like Christ this love comes with it?

Or. Is it both?

Our ministry is one of love

To start off my 14 Days of Valentines I wanted to use the first couple of chapters in the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church manual for this year on George Albert Smith.

The first week we started talking about George Albert Smith I was mostly like, oh! He was a prophet wasn't he? In fact all I really knew about him was where he fell in the song. (Bragging moment, my aunt Vanja totally wrote that song. Boo-ya.) So I was pretty interested to hear what his particular teachings were.

Another side note, ever since I started really studying the gospel for myself in high school I fell in love with love. (Starting to see why I love Valentine's Day?) I remember the day I read that "perfect love casteth out all fear" I was completely astounded! Who wouldn't want that? So ever since then the gospel study of love has fascinated and delighted me.

So when I went home and read for myself the introduction which was the Life and Ministry of George Albert Smith, I quickly realized that he is my new favorite prophet that isn't alive. (I mean, you can't have a favorite over President Monson, that just seems wrong.) But here is my favorite quote about my new hero shortly after he passed away.

"...God attracts the godly, and I am sure that the shortest journey this man of God ever made in all of his travels has been the journey which he has just taken. God is love. George Albert Smith is love. His is godly. God has taken him unto himself."

Wouldn't it be so wonderful to be thought of as such a man or woman? My favorite scripture for Valentine's Day is always "God is love" and to see that powerful scripture equated with an earthly man was astounding to me.

The first chapter of this manual talks about living what we believe, and how President Smith truly lived his beliefs, he lived the gospel and didn't just teach it. And in the second chapter it more specifically talks about how he lived his beliefs of love in the chapter entitled "Love Thy Neighbour as Thyself". It is from this chapter that I got the quote after which this blog is titled. And doesn't this just sum up what our lives should be about? Shouldn't we be where we are to spread love?

When you know wonderful things that would make someone else eternally happy. When you have understandings that bring deep peace to your soul? When you have come to know an inkling of the love of God. Shouldn't you share that love? Shouldn't you share that IN love?

Love quote of the day: "Our ministry is one of love" - George Albert Smith

Love song of the day: "Everything to Me" by David Lehr

Love picture of the day:

Total control. Total freedom.

I am joining the ranks of ideological bloggers today, I hope no one minds. Oh who am I kidding, who even reads this?

I have been in Humanities 101 with Lauri Haddock for 4 semesters, once as a student and three times as a TA/mentor. Every time we talk about dance this quote by Edward Villella is introduced to the students. And every year I hear about it, it resonates with me more and more and causes me to think for weeks on end about it. I have had about 3 perspectives of thought regarding this quote. The first just has to do with dance itself. The second regards to the Gospel. The third and the one that has come most recently, has to do with creativity.

As for dance. I am a dancer, and this quote was said by a dancer, so clearly this was my first train of thought in hearing this quote. And I don't think there is a dancer out there that would argue of the truthfulness of this idea. Once you gain complete control over your bodily faculties, the possibilities are endless. When a ballerina has mastered the technique of her art form, she then becomes free to execute moves that would be impossible otherwise. I usually think of this in term of my core or balance. If I don't have control over my core or my balance, I can't do any of the dance moves I want, and thus my freedom is much less.

The Gospel implication are very clear in this to me. It brings about the mind-boggling concept of human agency and obedience and how it is that they fit together as they must because they are both eternal truths. It is interesting to me how while this concept of total control and total freedom will make sense to people when applied to something temporal such as dance, but when the concept is introduced in a Gospel sense they scoff at it. "It just doesn't make sense," they say "that in giving me a list of rules to obey constantly (i.e. The Ten Commandments) I gain more freedom." How often do we hear as Latter-day Saints or just religious people in general that the commandments, both scriptural and modern, take away their freedom and doesn't allow them to "do what they want to do". But for those of us who have adhered to those commandments we have been given, we have seen the blessings in our lives. This is, I think, even bigger than the usual answer given that when we keep our bodies free of certain substances we are more free to make better choices and have better control of our faculties. When you are making choices that are conducive to the Spirit and to the Light of Christ, how can your freedom not be enlarged? With these two instruments you are able to be inspired and see things that you cannot see without it. Furthermore, how much more clear is your mind when you are happy than when you are not? With obedience to commandments, that internal happiness can always be present and can always be effective. This argument is only the tip of the iceberg, but I must move on.

The last idea I have had concerning this quote has come very recently and it struck me today in a beautiful tangent we went on in my American Christianity class. (I could probably write an entire blog post on that tangent. After hearing what my professor said I just wanted to walk up to him and say, Professor Fluhman, I LIVE in there I am so with you on this. Does this intrigue you?) So the phrase that was said that got me thinking was when Professor Fluhman mentioned that he liked the fenced-in-ness of the Mormon Church because it forces us to bloom where we are planted. Suddenly something clicked! I grew up feeling like creativity would come when I was given a metaphorical blank sheet of paper and told to go at it. However, for me this never produced very good results. The more parameters and rules I was given, the more creative I became because I had to become so. I experienced this a lot in the modern dance classes I have taken at BYU. For a final in one of my composition classes we were told to base our dance on a painting and I was so annoyed by this because I had so many ideas that I wanted to use! But once I dug into the assignment not only did I love the end result, but it was an end result that NEVER would have happened had I not been given the parameters. So in fact I was introduced to new opportunities and new avenues that I wouldn't have even known existed had I not followed the rules. Isn't that amazing? New opportunities just for following the rules? It kind of melts my brain a little. But it's pretty true. :)